[Long past midnight. Schmutzie and The Palinode are in bed but they're not sleeping. Maybe they're drunk.]
Schmutzie: Today was such a lousy day. I seriously wanted to stab myself with a fork.
Palinode: You want to stab yourself with a fork, you just let me know in advance.
Schmutzie: I'll be like, I'M IN THE KITCHEN AND I'M ABOUT TO STAB MYSELF WITH THIS FORK.
Palinode: And I'll be all, DON'T DO IT, I'M COMING TO YOU WITH ALACRITY.
Schmutzie: And then I'll say, IT'S OKAY I'M NOT GOING TO STAB MYSELF NOW BECAUSE I'M IN THE OTHER ROOM LOOKING UP ALACRITY ON DICTIONARY.COM.
Palinode: Between me and the internet, you'll never come to harm.
9 comments:
That's so funny. Just as I got to 'alacrity,' I made a mental note to look it up when I was done reading.
If that's all it takes, she's not too far undone.
Put your forks down and back away!
Where would a spork fit on the alacrity scale?
Alacrity
–noun 1. cheerful readiness, promptness, or willingness: We accepted the invitation with alacrity.
2. liveliness; briskness.
.....you are the type of person I detest playing Scrabble with.
Hey, what is love but 'stop me from stabbing myself with a fork'?
That's definitely why *I* got married. I have far acquired far fewer scars since the happy day.
So ignorance can keep you safe? ;) Great post.
I love you both so much it hurts.
holy crap, I just SNORTED from the laughter.
I hope I die of alacrity one day.
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