Monday, March 14, 2005

Give Us Your Slick, Your Broken-Shouldered

The early evening. Supper is on its way. Karaoke looms in the future. The People are talking.

Palinode: (in the midst of lying outrageously about something) It’s true.

Lotus: (also lying) I believe you.

Palinode: I’m not shitting you.

Lotus: I don’t want you to be shitting me.

Palinode: Really? What, I’m not good enough?

Lotus: No, I’d be coming out your - you know -

Palinode: Oh no, I don’t know all of a sudden.

Lotus: (lowers voice even though NO ONE’S AROUND) - your anus. If you were shitting me.

Palinode: It might not be so bad.

Lotus: Yes it would! How could it not be bad?

Palinode: Maybe if we coated you in some kind of oil. Baby, olive, motor. You’d be slick. And let’s see... maybe if we broke your shoulders... those could be a problem...

Lotus: I don’t want to be slick and broken-shouldered!

Palinode: Well fine. If you’re not going to put forth the effort there’s no point.

Lotus: Fine then!

Palinode: I didn’t want to shit you in the first place anyway.

Lotus: Good!

Palinode: That’s a relief, really.


Executive Housewife said...

You both have quite a sense of humor. Made for each other. Tee hee.

blackbird said...

Might the two of you be available for dinner -- say, sometime in the middle of April?

palinode said...

We are definitely available. Regrettably we live about 7000 miles from Tuvalu - that is, the real Tuvalu. From your Tuvalu we're about 1900 miles. But anyway, would you want the kind of dinner conversation that The Lotus and I would offer? Because it would sound a lot like the conversations I put up on my site.

blackbird said...

That is precisely why I am inquiring.

luvabeans said...

you people are wonderfully weird.

by the way, i hate to disappoint you, but luring me to montreal has no pay-off for you, as chicago is actually closer to regina than montreal is, i believe. are you just trying to get me to join the canadian dark side?

blackbird said...

Wait. I never said anything about bringing Luvabeans. Nice though she may be.

luvabeans said...

oh, no! i was referring to an earlier comment that mr. p'node made to me via blog. now that that's cleared up, i'm totally crashing your dinner party.

palinode said...

Ms. Beans: sure you can crash our dinner party, but bluebloods fresh off the Mayflower like yourself must bring lobster for everyone. And yes, I'm trying to entice you to join Canada's dark legions.

Huckleberry Finnegan said...

I never wrote a palinode,
I never hope to write one;
but I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather write than shite one.