Friday, January 09, 2009

#20 Bad Idea: Itemizing the Groceries

Greetings Noramites. Thank you all for coming. The results of our latest archaeological dig in the Irradiated Zones have finally borne fruit.

As many of you know, Drs. Horvath and Krinchy did not make it back from the latest expedition. In their memory we present this scrap of writing which we found in the heart of the Central Silica Plain. Based on preliminary research, we believe that this piece was either a government document or a religious text.

*

[Late afternoon. The sprung door of day slowly creaking to a close. Schmutzie knits in the living room. Palinode washes dishes in the kitchen.]

Palinode: I have a question. What would you say is the likelihood that I have an avocado in my pants?

Schmutzie: A very good likelihood!

(pause)

Palinode: Wow, you just... no hesitation there.

Schmutzie: What?

Palinode: You immediately assumed that I probably had an avocado in my pants.

Schmutzie: Well I saw one earlier on the kitchen windowsill.

Palinode: Just because there's an avocado near my pants doesn't mean that it's in my pants.

Schmutzie: I figured it was your way of telling me that you bought an avocado.

Palinode: Yes.

(pause)

Palinode: Would you like some avocado in a sandwich?

Schmutzie: As long as it hasn't been in your pants.

Palinode: More for me then.

5 comments:

Thomas said...

I've had similar conversations with my wife, though she would be quick to say something like, "You wouldn't ask me if you had an avocado in your pants if you didn't, in fact, have an avocado in your pants."

ozma said...

I have some kind of weird OCD thing about germs and I would eat a pantsed avocado. That's how much I love avocado.

Chris said...

She is obviously aware of your produce shoplifting proclivity. These things are difficult to keep under wraps.

Pearl said...

I've never had an avocado in my pants, but I'm willing to go there if I have to.
Pearl

Woman in a Window said...

And I find this terribly irresistible why?