Sunday, April 13, 2008

the frenzy of resume

[Sunday afternoon - Sunday Sunday SUNDAY - with the PaliScmutzes. They're doin' stuff.]

Schmutzie: You know what you should never have on your resumé?

Palinode: Hobbies? Interests? Education? Job experience? Because employers only respond to charisma.

Schmutzie: None of those.

Palinode: Charisma and servitude.

Schmutzie: Employment objective statements. They generally tank your chances at getting the job.

Palinode: My objective statement is only one word anyway.

Schmutzie: What's that?

Palinode: Glory.

6 comments:

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Employment objective: Aiding the proletariat in their goal of overcoming the oppressive powers of those in whom all power corrupts.

lotus07 said...

You're Hired.......

Cloudesley said...

following Lotus07... I always like to put a "hire this guy!" in a different colour ink hand-written style font on the cover letter... in hopes a potential employer might mistake it for an annotation made by another associate of the firm. While I sadly seldom have the courage to do this when I have I've gotten an interview.

BipolarLawyerCook said...

What? The internet isn't enough? : ) Good luck!

Nat said...

I like to put comfortable mediocracy.

palinode said...

sir - That's a great objective. I'd hire you.

lotus07 - Excellent. Please send job description and benefits.

cloudesley - You should include someone's handwritten initials, as in "Hire This Guy! - M.R." That'll help sell it.

bpcook - I'm slightly afraid that an internet search by a prospective employer may reveal this weblog. Fortunately there's a protective screen of blogs maintained by adult parents of children with my name.

nat - That sounds nice. That sounds like a chair I'd like to take a nap in.