Thursday, April 10, 2008

capitalism or extortion

[The bar. Schmutzie discusses web design with the table. Everyone is several beers in to the evening, except for Tamara, who is at least one Paralyzer in. Or maybe she's just drinking milk. Who the hell drinks milk at a bar?]

Schmutzie: I should be a marketing person.

Palinode: I should be a wet willie person.

Schmutzie: Really.

Palinode: Sure. I'd make a mint.

Schmutzie: How's that?

Palinode: For example, you give me five bucks [sticks an index finger in his mouth] and I don't give you a wet willie.

Schmutzie: [pulls her chair back at least a foot] I don't think so.

Palinode: I think it's foolproof!

Schmutzie: I think you'd get charged.

Palinode: Oh sure, what do you think the judge would do with a case of attempted wet willying?

Schmutzie: Just dry your finger off.

7 comments:

Tamara said...

I always get confused when I see my name in a post (it's not like it's a rare name, I just rarely see it). This instance happened to be particularly confusing because I can't imagine drinking milk in a bar. hee.

Ozma said...

I had this theory that if I went across Canada and asked every Canadian for a dollar they would all give me a dollar. I don't know why this seemed plausible to me but I was sure I could make millions this way.

However, you are making me doubt this theory since apparently you believe it necessary to threaten your fellow Canadians to get them to pony up.

My last hope, dashed.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

You're an evil genius.

palinode said...

Tamara - Schmutzie would like you to know that you're cool. Cool beans.

Ozma - If you pitch it right, you just might pull it off. Don't forge that there's a $3 million dollar tariff for visiting Americans.

'sir' - I have a false mustache which I put on for twirling and maniacal laughter.

Thomas said...

Given that there are people who will pay big bucks to get kicked in the genitals and be shat upon, I'm pretty sure the wet willie thing could work out if it was spun correctly.

Rebecca said...

What's the going rate for a wedgie?

lotus07 said...

Careful...you don't know where that finger has been......