[Christmas Eve. Christmas lights twinkling. Some snow outside. Schmutzie and Palinode are basking in the glow of the holidays. Palinode turns to Schmutzie.]
Palinode: How's the scar on my back looking? [because I had back surgery in November]
Schmutzie: Let's see... it's shaped like a square. Why is that?
Palinode: My surgery scar is square?
Schmutzie: No, that's a vertical stripe. I'm talking about your other scar.
Palinode: I have another scar? Where?
Schmutzie: It's just up and to the left of your surgical one.
Palinode: How long have I had it?
Schmutzie: I don't know. Lots of people have scars on their lower back.
[Pause]
Palinode: I guess that's where the aliens implant their chips.
Schmutzie: Of course...
Palinode: But I'm not talking about microchips. I'm talking about potato chips.
Schmutzie: The aliens implant potato chips in our bodies?
Palinode: The chips are just for starters. They kidnap us when they get a craving. Sometimes they implant Skittles, sometimes they harvest Funyuns.
Schmutzie: I had no idea.
Palinode: They have no infrastructure to produce or store their own junk food.
Schmutzie: So you're saying that we're nothing but snack food repositories for aliens.
Palinode: Exactly.
Schmutzie: Seems a bit cumbersome, just to get a snack.
Palinode: Oh, they've got a whole system.
7 comments:
So when my back makes crunchy sounds in the morning, it's probably because I've just smashed their Pringles.
Okay, so the aliens are just a bunch of potheads with the munchies? That would explain what *really* happened to Jerry Garcia.
So those aren't love handles on my hips, but cans of Mountain Dew?
sparkling red - Yes, but don't let it bother you. The aliens understand that contents may have settled during transit.
nathan - The aliens confused Jerry Garcia with Cherry Garcia.
rebecca - Quite possibly. But the aliens are pretty cheap, so it's probably no-name grape soda.
Conversations like this are what sparked all those Matrix movies.
I think this is a Stranglers reference?
Our was "Where's the fucking tape? You have it!" "It's under your fat ass, fat ass." Like that.
p-man - A Stranglers reference? P-man, you are officially more interesting than me. I had no such thought in mind. Now I will have to go and listen to my old Stranglers tapes. Cassette. Tapes.
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