Monday, November 26, 2007

new dew

According to Trademork, PepsiCo. filed a series of trademarks on November 8th for possibly upcoming Mountain Dew spin-offs (via BoingBoing Gadgets). Here are the trademark names and the special ingredients in each:

Mountain Dew Revolution - Every bottle contains a few grains of skin from the mummified corpse of Lenin. Nostrovya.

Mountain Dew High Output - with stool softener.

Mountain Dew Stimulus - Using state-of-the-art equipment, pornography is liquefied and distilled, then squirted lovingly into your bottle of Dew.

Mountain Dew Reverb - A network of pipes carrying the finest Mountain Dew is run through U2's studio to absorb those soulful vibes. Originally called Mountain Dew Delay and Mountain Dew Effects Pedals Can Substitute for Musicianship. And Mountain Dew Shut Up Now.

Mountain Dew Kilo-Watt
- Real electric eel inside every bottle. Really high on sugar and caffeine electric eel.

Mountain Dew Rebellion
- You can't tell this Dew What To Do. It's gonna smoke cigarettes, masturbate and hang out in front of the Burger King. You're not the boss of it.

Mountain Dew Extended Play - Mountain Dew soaked in a pile of discarded VCRs.

Mountain Dew Culture Blend - Go Green with Recycled Medical Waste! Petri-Powered Dew Will Gradually Knock Your Teeth Out Of Their Sockets and Shake the Blood From Your Eyes!

Mountain Dew Visionary
- It's drugs.

Mountain Dew Supernova - From the dead space between stars, a sentient radio wave has embedded its instructions from the living Horsehead Nebula into the molecules of your Jug O' Dew. Take a swig and fulfill the Destiny of the Void.

Mountain Dew Discovery - Do a Dew and discover diabetes, obesity, and the sadness of Making Love - Out Of Nothing At All.

YouTube - Making Love Out Of Nothing At All - Air Supply


Theresa said...

"making love out of nothing at all . . ."

Did you deliberately quote Air Supply? I think I love you. In a one-blogger-admiring-another kind of way.

Move along, nothing sordid or gross being professed here.

palinode said...

Play the video at the end of my entry and you'll see just how deliberate I am. That's how far I'll go to get the love of bloggers.

Theresa said...

I can't! There's a big white space, but nothing to play. Is this the fault of my stubborn refusal to ditch my explorer addiction?

palinode said...

I'm not sure why a Youtube video is refusing to play for you, so here's the link to the video:

It's for the little person in your head who still rocks in the arms of the 1980s.

Theresa said...

Rock Me '80s, Rock Me.
Sigh. The mullets. The feathered hair. The pleather pants. So worth the side trip. Thanks for the link.

Gwen said...

I can't wait for Rebellion to hit the shelves! Thanks for the tip, P. I'll never let you go.

Anonymous said...

for an interesting trademark case check out

Hi Ltd. Partnership v. Winghouse of Florida, Inc.

Hooters sues the Winghouse for using big-chested tight tee-shirted girls to sell wings....which is Hooter's Trademark.

The court ruled that the scantily clad girls were functional...and thus not trademarkable...

Trade marks cannot be utilitarian or functional components of products or service... like the 8 studs on top of a Lego block; functional items may be protected under Patent, but not TM or (C).

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