Wednesday, November 29, 2006

the origin story

Lotsa people wanna know, out on the street, where they's kickin it palinode-style: Why do call your site In Palinode's Palace? Where's the palace? Why's the reference up all about classical poetry when you got or gots no rhymes or metrical feet (besides the feet-shoes) on the site?

Holy hot piranha, that's the worst street slang I've ever heard. That's like street talk if you lived in a can of stewed tomatoes for twenty years and then, when they let you out, you um, oh never mind. Let's just get on with the outrageous lies section.

Okay, so back in the days when money was made out of paper and cats weren't sold in open-air markets for meat,* I thought blogging was for squares only. In fact, when I saw Christians bloggers walking down the street, I would do that drawing-square-in-air-with-index-fingers thing, right in front of them. That's how much I didn't care what they thought of me. They'd start crying and run home to blog about the arrogant but beautiful man with long curly hair, whose behaviour aroused them and made them want to die from shame. I would laugh out loud and then go streetrace and win the streetraces in which I was a participant.

Then one day I experienced a terrible streetracing accident that put me on fire and in the hospital. When the bandages came off, I still looked beautiful, but my hairline had receded from all the stress, and I found that I was around thirty years old, which surprised me, as I had just been seventeen and the big name on the street.

Despondent and downcast, I went to see my friends, but they no longer recognized me and thought I was some old square. They did the square-in-the-air thing, which did not arouse me but certainly made me realize that my streetracing days were over, and that I had better get a series of jobs in the film industry for seven years and then end up working for the government.

I left my old friends and started walking home when I saw a poster on a wall.

Hey, I thought, that's funny, I'm going to go blog about it, and that's how I started blogging. But I didn't have a title for my blog yet. Then I met some guys who asked if I had a backup band for my blog, and I said No, and they said, We're a great band and we just need a break to make it big. So I said, What do you call yourselves? And they said Earth, Wind and Fire.

And that's how the top funk band of the '70s got their start in the business.

*I know these conditions don't apply in 2006-07, but I have to take future readers into consideration.


palinode said...

On re-reading, I see that I implied that my story was "outrageous lies". It's actually all true. Seriously, would I have made that poster up?

palinode said...

Okay people. I made a stupid poster for you. I made up a whole Palinode Origin Story for you. And no comments? For shame.

palinode said...

For shame, still!

Mother Bumper said...

I'd kill for that poster. And I was going to comment yesterday but this baby thing is really killing my ability to social.

Did I just call blogging socializing? I'm f**ked.

palinode said...

More importantly, would you kill for it on a T-shirt?

sumo said...

The name Palinode's Palace always gave me the same vibe as the Court of the Crimson King. I feel like they could be in neighboring kingdoms with an uneasy alliance.