Wednesday, March 29, 2006

sea of toast

In the comments section of my last post, my Montreal friend and yours, Helvetica, she of the sharp descenders and pleasing x-height,* thought that Volcano's tagline - The Coast is Toast - referred to the impending invasion of Los Angeles by an army of R0Vaf48 ToastAmblers, marching machines recently quit of their suburban owners, coming to the City of Angels to offer so much toast that, ultimately, the coast is buried in browned bread.

In the streets, heaps of toast, drifting against doorways, spilling out onto the boulevards. Goodbye Wiltshire, so long Mulholland. All the airbuses at LAX grounded, unable to accelerate into the toast sea. Goddamn that's a lot of toast.

I only bring up the nightmarish scenario because it has come one step closer to its toasty realization. Here's the prototype of LA's ultimate undoing:



Note the classic robot legs.

*These are typographical terms and not meant to be smutty or nothing.

9 comments:

vegasandvenice said...

This is most possibly the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. The classic robot legs really put it over the top! I can imagine my nightmares now! Please come up with a way to save us! Perhaps a toaster stopping machine of some sort or perhaps simply make sure that "Tom" is not to busy jumping on couches to save us all with a perhaps a fork or something!!

Thanks for sharing your horror!

palinode said...

Unfortunately, vegasandvenice, I'm like most scientists - able to create horrors but powerless to stop them. When will we stop opening the Pandora's box of techno-toasty-doom? You know, when?

Hey wait - I'm not a scientist, I'm a TV producer! (Really.) Saving civilization is my business! Buy a gun.

Lynn said...

I like the DIALS 'n' SHIT.

mathew said...

it's missing the white matte finish and the musical notes denoting styx

blackbird said...

what?

nothing about its genitals?

palinode said...

On second glance it reminds me of the Sesame Street typewriter.

Anonymous said...

It looks like my aunt Doris.

Helvetica said...

"sharp descenders and pleasing x-height" also neatly describes my specific geographical location here in Montreal.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

The permanence of the toaster graphic is starting to really freak me out...