Thursday, March 23, 2006

iToast spam

Friends, I'd say if I were an idiot writing to spambots, I have news. I have pharmacy news. I have ph aErmacy news. I have chiw3tel ebiogl0r news. I have good news for all of you about laJij36 and its exciting benefits.

And maybe I am writing emails like that, because the spambots have been squishing my inbox with subject lines like Re: laJij36 news. Maybe they're hope that I'm scanning my messages so quickly that I'll be taken in by the Re: and just click away on the Snow Crash virus waiting to be unleashed. Or maybe they're hoping to get incredibly lucky by finding that one person out of a billion who really has been trying get the news out about pha Harmseay.

Today I received my favourite yet, from one Alex Matamoros: Re: roVaf48 news. That's right, Alex. I sent you an email with all the latest news on RoVaf48 - the robotic toaster oven that walks from room to room! With smart circuits and built-in sensors that can predict when your need for toast will strike, the roVaf48 ToastAmbler will arrive with crispy toast or bagels ready for your homestyle snack attack! You can set it to come with a clap or just have it walk around the house, with fresh toast ever on the ready. Model 48-AZ features a rechargeable battery, removable bagel slicer and iTunes pre-loaded.

10 comments:

blackbird said...

(atanding over here, quietly waiting for the vagina punchline...)

palinode said...

Please atand by for vagina punchline....

This is just a test of the vagina punchline. If this were the actual punchline, you would be smiling politely right now.

schmutzie said...

I like toast.

Lynn said...

News about pha Harmseay? That's just the news I've been looking for. Why didn't anyone send it to me? All I get are the dirty spams for things like peni$ enh@ncmnt, which I totally don't need because, as I've tried to make clear in the past, MY PENIS IS PERFECT JUST THE WAY IT IS.

grrrbear said...

I think I'll wait for the RoVaf4800, which is essentially the same thing but using a pizza oven instead of just a toaster. That way I can have it make all three meals instead of just breakfast.

Mmmm...english muffin pizzas fired at me from across the room....

Jacky said...

I'm thinking I would be better suited for a RoVaf60-XP. The RoVaf48's cousin that comes equipped with martinis on command and Bluetooth option.

mathew said...

toast or bagels? where's the toaster muffin option?

if this can be configured to play styx when my toasted goodness is ready, well, then i'll order 4

Mit_Moi said...

I want Jacky's model - do you think it can be programmed for Single Malt Scotch along with the blue tooth?

palinode said...

The 60-XP can be configured with a number of beverage-friendly add-ons and plug-ins, including the martini shaker, single malt holder, and New Herbal Vi@gr@ Impress Yer Girl Now! Spam Generator.

starcat said...

Wow. I totally need to reduce my spam filter. Right now the only things in my spam box are for stupid crap I accidentally signed up for when drunk, like Kirk Cameron's newsletter and first person shooter survey questionnaires.