Thursday, March 09, 2006

not a bad question

Approaching bedtime. Palinode and Schmutzie loitering by the coats in the hallway (This is where the marriage happens, in moments by the coats and over next to the cupboards, fumbling for keys, fumbling at zippers, clapping down a pint, a morning peck on the lips in the darkness of the bedroom). Schmutzie picks the cat up and squeezes it.

Schmutzie: He lets me kiss him all I want now.

She kisses the cat on the forehead. The cat stares off into the middle distance, waiting for food.

Schmutzie: He hardly ever bites my face anymore when I kiss him.

She kisses the cat again.

Palinode: Tell me again. Why do we own a cat?


Anna said...

I have a pit bull mix who had aggression problems as a puppy and required a lot of training; she's perfectly sweet now. Recently, I showed my mom how I can kiss Lula Dog on the face: "See, she doesn't snarl anymore! See, she doesn't nip at me." Why the hell I so desparately wanted to be able to kiss a pit bull on the face, we'll never know.

Mom even has a picture of me kissing the poor dogger, while Lula stares off into the distance, thoroughly annoyed.

FawnDoo said...

I don't own a cat, but I have moved in with an am about to marry a woman who has three of the little buggers. This has taught me some valuable lessons as I go on my way to becoming a married man:

1) When the big heavy one jumps on you when you're in bed, grit your teeth and blink away the tears. You'll be able to breathe soon.

2) Brush every item of clothing before you wear it out, or you'll look like a strategically shaved Wookie going for a job interview.

3) Don't touch that thing on the floor. It's a hairball, it's disgusting and you'll look at your hand for hours as if it's just betrayed you.

So...yeah, good question! :-)

sgazzetti said...

For medical experiments, right? What other possible reason could there be?

Victoria Winters said...

haha! My cats don't have a choice - they're smothered in kisses every day and they've never bitten me because of it! I must have a way with cats. ;)

schmutzie said...

Ms. Winters, you have not tried kissing our beloved, although lunatic and dangerous, Oskar. His love is more along the lines of painful than pleasurable.

Neil said...

Look at the postitive side -- she always has someone to kiss when you're too busy watching "24" on TV or playing video games.