Sunday, September 12, 2010

the ingredient

[Deep, ridiculous night. Electricity all over the place, just trying to keep the night outside. Schmutzie and Palinode ignore humanity's triumph over the night and watch TV.]

Schmutzie: I don't like this commercial.

Palinode: This is a commercial?

Schmutzie: They tell you that this product has an ingredient that stops heartburn, but they don't tell you what the ingredient is.

Palinode: Don't need to know. As a viewer, I'm too busy and important for details.

Schmutzie: Maybe they figure we're too dumb to trouble ourselves over the name of the ingredient.

Palinode: It doesn't matter if I know what the ingredient is. I just need to know that the ingredient will stop heartburn.

Schmutzie: But what if the ingredient is dog poop? Dog poop to stop the heartburn?

Palinode: Dog poop doesn't work that way.

Schmutzie: Oh, you know how dog poop works.

Palinode: I know enough to know that it doesn't stop heartburn.


JC Little said...

That was funny! But now I think I'd definitely like to know the name of the ingredient.....

Schmutzie said...

Have you ever tried to stop heart burn with dog poop? Well, have you?

palinode said...

JC Little - I think it's squirrel poop. Natural anti-heartburn properties from all the acorns.

Schmutzie - No, but I stepped in it once. It stopped people from approaching me.