Wednesday, December 10, 2008

#13: Holiday TV

Now that December is here, we are deep in the unblinking hell of seasonally themed television shows. From Hallowe'en to New Years, every sitcom, soap opera and prime time drama plays off a parade of themed days.

It should never end. And it doesn't have to.

Christmas and New Years may be over, but there's barely a blink before Martin Luther King Jr. Day comes round, followed by Chinese New Year, Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday, Orthodox Lent, St. Patrick's Day, Palm Sunday, Spring Equinox, Palm Sunday, Passover, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Easter Monday, Orthodox Easter Sunday, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day, Victoria Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Father's Day, Summer Solstice, St. Jean-Baptiste Day, Canada Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Labour Day, Grandparent's Day, Vernal Equinox, Yom Kippur, Columbus Day, and full-on Canadian Thanksgiving.

So many holidays to string one episode to another! All this without dragging in holidays from foreign countries like Latvia, or Alaska. This is what the police call an embarrassment of riches, although when they say it, it's code for a murder that only a zoo elephant could have committed. Naturally they don't use the phrase very often, so sometimes they use it when they're pinned down by a cop-killing serial killer and they feel pretty stupid about the whole situation. They also use the phrase when they fall in love with a witness or each other their son's teacher. True story.

4 comments:

Deb on the Rocks said...

This idea is so horrible that I'll invest in it. The poorly drawn animated specials offer an abundance of opportunities for Happy Meal and merchandising tie-ins. But can we call it Holly Daze TV? That would be a really, really bad idea.

trinity67 said...

You forgot Orthodox Christmas - it's celebrated on January 7th.

Helvetica said...

You also forgot unorthodox Christmas. It's celebrated every second Tuesday.

Bruce said...

This is why I no longer watch Broadcast media anymore....I download everything I watch so I have control over the content. I AM my own network.