Thursday, September 11, 2008

handy new FAQ

Owing to the volumes of mail I get every day, some by post, some by e-, some by dragon, I’ve decided to put up an FAQ. But since it’s depressing for me to go through the questions and retype them, I’m just posting the answers. I’m sure that you questioners out there can pair up your question socket with my answer plug and create a current out of that.

    1. Frequently.

    2. No, she is not.

    3. Grothnar, The Dragon Beyond Time.

    4. Asbestos pants.

    5. Like an acorn with feet, actually.

    6. If I had ideas I’d be a successful novelist.

    7. Still like an acorn with feet, sorry.

    8. Jesus.

    9. Good question. He’s not really a big lizard or anything but a sapphire monster encircling the outer membrane of the universe. His incursions into realspace are difficult for humans to perceive, but in general his presence is responsible for all anxiety and some fellatio.

    10. A sprig of mistletoe. It doesn’t sound too nasty to me, but mistletoe is poisonous, and anyway I’m not a Norse god.

    11. Phobos, Deimos and Hidden Charlie.

    12. By dint of a shiv inserted carefully beneath the dermis.

    13. I remember polders and genever but not much else.

    14. Money.

7 comments:

/brandon\ said...

#4 - What is the difference between a hockey mom and a professional dragon tamer?

savia said...

#9 - What can you tell me about the current Canadian Prime Minister?

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

love this. so much.

palinode said...

/brandon\ - Nice.

savia - Nice and local.

amy - I'm loving the responses.

ozma said...

Came to commiserate over DFW.

Then I think: Maybe I'm mixing up the palinode with someone else who loves DFW. But who?

I miss the Ask the Palinode and will perhaps send a missive asking something.

lotus07 said...

I always wondered what the 3rd Moon of Mars was.....thanks for the enlightment.

I also appreciate the description of what Louie Anderson naked looks like for those of us that are visually challenged.

palinode said...

lotus07 - Not many people know that Mars has three moons, and usually they don't want to know. There's a powerful and wealthy lobby behind the Deniers of Hidden Charlie. But it's there. Oh yes, it's there.