Friday, April 07, 2006

the mystical randy newman knowledge conversation

Kitchen. A rare weekday morning with Schmutzie and the Palinode up at the same time.

Palinode: Hmmm. (Pauses, rubs his eyes) Ah luuuv LA... da na na naa na na naa na na naa, WE LOVE IT, da na na naa na na naa na na naa...

Schmutzie: What are you trying to sing?

Palinode: ...WE LOVE IT, da na na naa na na naa na naa...

Schmutzie: (Silence)

Palinode: Hey, you know what that song is?

Schmutzie: That McDonald's song? Da da da da daaa?

Palinode: No, it's I Love LA by Randy Newman.

Schmutzie: Oh.

Palinode: (singing)Look at that sumethin... Check out that stuff... it's... (brief pause for reorientation) Ah luuuuv LA, da na na naa...

Schmutzie: I don't know Randy Newman.

Palinode: Oh well. He doesn't know you either.

Schmutzie: That's not surprising.

Palinode: He's sitting at home right now singing "I don't know [Schmutzie]/ I don't know what she's doin'/ Don't know if she's a receptionist/ Or a draft pick Boston Bruin.

Schmutzie: I AM NOT A RECEPTIONIST!

Palinode: I didn't say you were a receptionist.

Schmutzie: I'm NOT a receptionist.

Palinode: I'm just singing Randy Newman's song about you where he's speculating on what you're doing. You're also not a Boston Bruin, but that doesn't stop him from wondering.

Schmutzie: Randy Newman doesn't know me.

Palinode: That's why he wrote that song about you.

Schmutzie: Randy Newman didn't write that song.

Palinode: Oh yeah? If he didn't write it, how come I know the lyrics?

Schmutzie: (Silence. The silence that comes from ignoring the conversation.)

Palinode: That's right. I just blew your mind. I messed with your head BIG TIME.

12 comments:

palinode said...

*All conversations recorded on Palinode's Palace actually happened. Contents altered slightly to show off Palinode in a slightly better light.

blackbird said...

so,
she's a receptionist?

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Holy shit, MY mind has been blown as well. You are blowing minds across the country!

palinode said...

Blackbird: Oddly enough, Schmutzie is not a receptionist. She's not even a glorified receptionist. She may be in the starting lineup of the Bruins next year, though.

AMG: Blowing minds across the country? AMG, we live in different countries. I'm blowing minds internationally. When I buy that rocket, I'm sending this entry to Mars so I can be an interplanetary mindblower.

Lynn said...

And all this time I thought Schmutzie was a flight attendant.

Anonymous said...

palinode, it's rachel. such a real name for such a place where people don't share such things. i read your blog every once in a while. everytime i'm sitting at my computer, not quite sure what to do, i type in palinode and there you are. wonderful stuff. always entertaining. so what's up?

schmutzie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
palinode said...

What's up? It's 12:30 on a Friday night, we're home from the bar, Schmutzie's knitting a baby blanket for a friend, I'm fighting sleep, and Oskar the Cat is about to leap up on the table. Oh, there he is, peeking out from around the computer right now. He's trying to eat a piece of styrofoam. Cats are too dumb to live.

blackbird said...

oh.
also.
I hate LA.

can you sing that?

Helvetica said...

Unexpectedly, the last 3 postings before Blackbird's are the funniest thing I've read all week. You aren't, for surrealist purposes, fabricating feedback conversations are you, Mr Node?

mathew said...

my mother can't stand randy newman because of the song 'short people' - which was apparantly written about and to her, as i understand it.

palinode said...

Helvetica: Sometimes I seed a thread with a comment - the cyberequivalent of throwing some change into my own hat - but I've never fabricated conversations. But that's a good idea.

Mathew: When I was a kid I thought 'Short People' was hilarious. I thought it was about children (who are short) at the time.