Tuesday, November 15, 2005

mockie talky

Over the last year and a half I've written down enough of my conversations with Schmutzie that I've got a respectable mini-anthology going on. For those of you who like this sort of thing, here's a guide to the VERY BEST of the marital chitchat. And by very best I mean whatever I had.

The apple core incident
Topics include: fruit waste, starving children, unhealthy fixations

The creepy bargain
Topics include: parsimony, fish with bugs for tongues, disgust

Falcon powder
Topics include: bird discomfort, bird pulverization

Time is a number if you read it right
Topics include: darkness, imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror

The invention of Chanklemas
Topics inlcude: deceiving children, sock abundance

Topics include: bird mutilation, bisons, kitchen tools

On the way to the Easter bash
Topics include: driving, talking, driving, talking, where's the goddamn party?

Passing through
Topics include: I can't believe we had this conversation, I can't believe I wrote it down

Swift diddle
Topics include: doughnuts, porn, fornication, speed, outbursts

Peas afire
Topics include: fire, mushy peas, rebreathers, Hull

The pie that satisfies
Topics include: fungus-bungus pizza, 'phone fingers', Basque food

Finishing the search
Topics include: novels, sudden comprehension, nudity

A peasant in the head
Topics include: hair, thatched roof cottage heads, peasants

Chickens are birds
Topics include: chickens are birds

Less talk, more action
Topics include: kissing, more kissing

Questions for study:

1. Why do you think the topic of mutilating or imitating birds comes up so often? Which do you imagine would be more fun?

2. What exactly is a fungus-bungus pizza? Discuss.

3. Please compare and contrast any two conversations. Please mention: theme, setting, mood, style, and tone. Due by end of period.

4. It's clear that the characters in these dialogues share a fascination with disgusting and inedible food. Just saying.

5. Would you say that the most significant conflict in these dialogues is Man vs. Puffin? Why or why not? And where's a clip art picture of a man punching a puffin when you want one?


The other me said...

This is evidence of true conversation. Magnificent- as is your adams apple and the glorious eyelids of your beloved. Of course the fact that you have been to England and eaten fish, chips and mushy peas had already made me appreciate your greatness.

palinode said...

I was surprised by how tasty mushy peas are. And how mushy.

I like her eyelids too.

Helvetica said...

Maybe we could also examine the relative merits of puffins v. ganders in textual examination. Special emphasis on biting problems, hackneyed expressions, and underwater reading scenerios.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Oh, my god. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. The puffins...the puffins! I want to know you people.

Mathew said...

I personally can't stand birds. I'm not ashamed to say that they frighten me a bit, and with each bite of fish or turkey, I feel as if I'm doing the world (and my fellow man) a great service.

As for fungus-bungus, it sounds a bit too much like fungus-dungus; I have no issue with the fungus bit, but as I don't own a scarab beetle to go halvsies with me, this does not sound appealing to me.

Mathew said...

obviously my cranial nerves think that fish tastes like chicken