Friday, October 14, 2005

a winner and all that

In my last entry I proposed a contest to guess my first name from a list of my Googled needs. Ye are smart folk, and two of youse answered correctly (I'm experimenting here with some archaic second person plural pronouns, pay no mind). Since I had two correct answers, both win a prize in the mail, just as I had promised.

1st prize goes to Jason, an Episcopalian priest currently working on his Ph.D in Episcopaleontology at Cambridge. At first I thought of disqualifying him on the grounds that he may have simply asked the Lord, who knows my name. Invoking the omniscient conduit is cheating! Then I remembered that God doesn't speak to Episcopalians anymore. So. Since Jason lives in the UK, I'm going to send him by mail the Treasures of the New World. A galleon loaded down with tobacco, coffee beans, maize, potato root, tomatoes, and a curious hemp distillate taken for pleasure around these parts. Jason, I've press-ganged an entire crew, and your galleon will be arriving in Liverpool in six weeks' time. If you don't want the bother of a galleon - and a trip to Liverpool - send me your mailing address at palinode at gmail dot com. And I should say: the reference to the saint was not too obtuse. If you'd guessed wrong then it definitely would have been obtuse.

2nd prize goes to The Absurdist, who, despite his sobriquet, answered my question in as straightforward a manner as possible. He wrote "Your name is Aidan". Not very absurd. Especially since that's my name. For something absurd, Absurdist, check out Miss A's comment here. Nonetheless, you win a prize by mail. What's the prize? Hmmm. Since I detected a religious colouring to your weblog, I think I'll send you The Pleasures of a Godless Life. Sleeping in on Sundays, Betting on Dogfights, Fornicating with All Kinds of Everything Including Keira Knightley. That should be enough to shake your faith up a little.

*Note: all prizes will actually be collages of photos from old magazines. No refunds.

1 comment:

Jason said...

P:

No, I'll take the galleon -- but leave the tomatoes out. As any fool knows, they are related to the deadly nightshade: none of your Canadian shenanigans for me, thank you very much! Instead, please just include more of the tobacco and that curious hemp distillate -- which I believe we actually call "vegemite" around here.

And BTW, God only stopped talking to us because he figured out we couldn't be bothered to listen.