Thursday, July 29, 2004

at last, an explanation

A study has emerged that attempts to correlate a country's economic activity with its fear of hell. Apparently, the greater the fear of hell, the greater peoples' frantic attempts to make hay. Even though Hell is not a place where you could take your riches, this hard-hitting study indicates that blind fear will get you out of bed and into the office every morning.

To back up their findings, here is a graph that indicates a correlation between fear of hell and corruption:



Anonymous said...

Please pass the following onto Skatchina. At approximately 3:00PM on Thursday, July 29, one local director she happens to know *quite* well was seen bursting, yes bursting, violently out the doors of the 11th Avenue branch of the CIBC. Clutching a pelican case tightly underneath his right arm, said director quickly and one might say panickedly (wha??) looked around, staring directly through this witness and his travelling companion (both of whom are known to said director), and raced, yes raced, westbound up 11th Avenue.

There was no pursuit.

Anonymous said...

I hope you used the scientific method to arrive at your results.

This comment system isn't up to Diaryland's standard. Too bad.


palinode said...

Yes, they used a brand of the scientific method, thusly:

Observation: nobody believes a shred of traditional Christianity anymore.

Hypothesis: if we publish an utterly bogus study showing that 'fear of Hell' is good for the populace, maybe we'll be able to prop the last few structures of the most jejune and dogmatic parts of the religion.

Anonymous said...

Thank-you for the information anonymous. I happen to know for a fact that sadly, this director that I know very very very well was, unfortunately, not robbing a bank (although that would certainly be a great way to fund a film...damn...I'll have to file that one away for future use).
1) The pelican case contains a Sony XL-1. He was clutching it because its his favourite thing in the whole world. He had it becasue he was on his way to auditions.
2) He was panicked because he was late picking up a producer that he knows very very very well and he had borrowed my (oops) her car.
3) He looked through you (whoever you may be, I have a theory, but since you're anonymous) because he's going senile, is often socially inept, and because of items 1 & 2. Its good to know that I have spies everywhere, though. And thank-you Mr. Node for giving us a place to meet and exchange information.


PS. Oh, yeah, your Blog is real good and all, Palinode...

Anonymous said...

I changed my mind. This comment system is cool because you submit a comment by hitting the "publish" button. Makes me feel like I've had work published. It's a good feeling


luvabeans said...

jinn, i think that the scientists referenced in this latest p-node entry were relying on that same theory. publication=importance! hee.

Anonymous said...

So I'm sitting at Palinode's palace wondering where to surf to next, and then it dawns on me: I haven't done my Saturday G&M crossword yet. Wooh!

Friday said...

Dear Anonymous: I, uh, love and miss you terribly. I'm wearing black pearls and I've forgotten your email address at home. Kiss the cats for me. You're the stone fox.

Anonymous said...

Helvetica sez:

I'd like to think it was me who posted the earlier posting, or at least who was the invisible/unseen witness, that some form of me snoops through Regina's streets still to catch producers, bank robbers and mineralized foxes while my corporeal self whooshes down waterslides and fires up butane stoves.