Wednesday, September 16, 2009

living design nightmares

Today one of my favourite people of blog, twitter, and flesh, Chookoolonks, linked to this supposedly beautiful living room with a central hearth lit by an overhead skylight. Can anybody spot the glaring problem here?



That's right: people will climb onto your roof just to watch you burn things. They'll set up little tables, bring drinks, bet on what you're going to use next as kindling. Eventually they'll start leaving 'requests' at your door. 'Burn some nice fragrant pine'. 'Burn this bloody shirt and pants'. 'Burn a mint condition Game of Life still in original wrapping, straight from factory, we accept Paypal'. I don't even understand that last request, but that's the kind of crap you'll be dealing with if you buy that house.

Here's what you're looking at just to keep the lookyloos off your roof: a fence, probably electrified; a state-of-the-art security system; a moat; a griffin. Maybe not a griffin. Maybe a hippogriff, but they're famously disloyal. Or maybe you just want to stop decorating your exterior walls with ladders, genius.

5 comments:

Recycled said...

I must also add the (perhaps less obvious) concern that the fire place appears to made of wood. Which makes it tacky (and, I suppose, flammable, but that is a tertiary concern).
-Brook

palinode said...

Self-consuming fireplaces are the most efficient kind going. Instead of throwing out your fireplace at the end of the fire - which is what you usually do - you just throw the fireplace into the fireplace and voila.

dk said...

I find razorwire strung with the occasional Timmy's coupon lures them close enough for the first nick or two.

wendy wisniewski said...

Weird, but I was JUST physically in this place about 10 days ago. It was part of the SF Architectural Design home tour. Nifty place. Nifty fireplace - but alas - - there's a glass ceiling up there.

Very small, very cool space...

Stephen Whitworth said...

I think it's important to offer praise whenever someone writes the word "lookyloo". So here's some praise: Well done!