Sunday, August 02, 2009

the invention of games

[Late afternoon. Schmutzie and Palinode in the living room. The sun begins to droop in the sky, laying out its long lazy beams over the floor. It is dangerously close to dinner.]

Palinode: I have devised a game.

Schmutzie: I don't want to play your game.

Palinode: You mention an object - any object - and I will tell you whether I would put rooster sauce on it.

Schmutzie: Why?

Palinode: Any object.

Schmutzie: An ottoman.

Palinode: Yes. Name another object.

Schmutzie: What is the point of this? Okay, Lula. [points to cat]

Palinode: Yes. Name another object.

Schmutzie: I'm bored with this game.

Palinode: It's best two out of three, come on.

Schmutzie: Your PS3 controllers.

Palinode: No.

Schmutzie: Are we done?

Palinode: It's ridiculous to think that I would put rooster sauce on my PS3 controllers. They'd be all sticky.

[long pause, in which Schmutzie studiously ignores Palinode in the hope that he'll go away]

Palinode: Do you want to know a secret?

Schmutzie: No.

Palinode: I said the game was best two out of three. You didn't even need to ask me that third time.

Schmutzie: You have no idea what a game is.

Palinode: I admit to being unclear on the concept.


Chris said...

Thanks for the helpful link to Rooster Sauce. Your answers now seem quite appropriate.

palinode said...

Chris - Rooster sauce is amazing stuff. It's like they found a way to turn fire into a narcotic. Then they added sugar.

ChurchPunkMom said...

I think your game sounds lovely.. okay, not so much. But I'm sure OnlyAman would. ;)

Keely said...

After that conversation, I am also a little unclear on the concept.

loren said...

That seems more like a riddle. Regardless, it also sounds like the type of thing retired old farts would talk about, right after they discussed BMs or if it might rain that day ;)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

So does the Ottoman and the cat taste better with or without the Rooster Sauce?

palinode said...

Nanny Goats - This question tells me that you have never had rooster sauce, or perhaps you were distracted by the Second Coming when you tried it. Because rooster sauce is one of those things that makes everything taste better. Which is to say, it makes everything taste like rooster sauce.

Eyvi Sprite said...

My question is this: how did you get in my living room or where have you stashed the bug? You have recorded a remarkably accurate conversation that occurs at least once daily in my house.