Good evening everyone. As most of you gathered here tonight know, despite our years of research, the pre-Error era remains largely a mystery. We do know that vegetation and animal life was certainly abundant in many sectors of Noram. Human beings enjoyed the ability to exist outdoors without the rad suits and stunners that are now necessary for even the briefest expedition outside the Domes. Imagine a world without radzombie attacks and the Southern Empire of the Mammo-Crow! I know, it seems incredible, even to a roomful of scientists.
Despite the incredible freedoms granted to pre-Error humanity, many of them chose to stay indoors anyway, shoving quantities of starch down their throats and staring at video screens. Some of these screens allowed viewers to enter and save information on magnetic media, but it is only recently that we have developed matching technology to remove the data and translate the impulses into recognizable information. Most of the data are brief, nonsensical entreaties for bigger penises. So far we have catalogued over 300 synonyms for male genitalia, and given our limited knowledge of the vernacular, we are assuming that at least thirty percent or greater of the untranslatable data strings are more of the same. It is possible that chemical runoff in the water supply may have been disrupting endocrine systems and producing smaller genitals in the population.
There is also this brief transcript, which we believe contains valuable clues about the institutions of the time:
[A slowly cooling Sunday afternoon. Schmutzie picks at the internet. Palinode pokes his head into the living room.]
Palinode: The soup will be ready in about ten minutes.
Schmutzie: I bet you didn't know that 'opus' is an anagram of soup.
Palinode: Yeah. So is 'puso'.
Schmutzie: Yes, but puso is not a word.
Palinode: Sure it is. As in, 'Hold on twenty minutes, love, just have to nip down to the puso'.
Schmutzie: I do not think so.
Palinode: Yup. You know, 'We're short on all kinds of things, I'd better run down to the puso for some more'.
Schmutzie: I'm still not buying it.
Palinode: Oh, you will, when you see the crowds down at the puso. Everybody's heading there. The puso, it's first-rate. But don't bother googling it or anything, it's brand new.
Schmutzie: It's brand-new.
Schmutzie: So new that it isn't even on the internet yet.
Palinode: Seemed to come out of nowhere.
Schmutzie: But everybody's there?
Palinode: Word of mouth. They're lined up.
Schmutzie: What exactly are they lined up for?
Palinode: The puso is HEY PALINODE, HIT IT IN HER DUGOUT WITH YOUR GIANT PANTSBAT, DOES SHE LAUGH? HERBAL SOLUTIONS 2 MANPROBLEMS cdo9hexhjsl