Wednesday, December 17, 2008

#17 Bad Idea: How to Watch Monday Night Television

Christmas-week television, when it's not an endless retread of the same crappy Christmas specials fed to us for the last forty years or more, provides repeats of Thanskgiving-week television. Why are we getting the reheated leftovers of America's last holiday fed back to us? I don't know, but when Two and a Half Men starts up, there's only one way to prevent that show's patented anti-life equation from destroying your fragile human mind:

I made it myself out of a samosa container. The samosas were moist, steaming, delicious and potato-ey. Plus, by dint of the aluminum, they were guaranteed not be infected with alien transmissions that subjugate your will and turn you into a zombie slave of Charlie Sheen.

So what's the reason for the extended fin on the back? To make Two and a Half Men go by faster.


Thomas said...

Why were there potatoes in your girl scout cookies?

Pearl said...

I have never understood what the deal is with people watching that show. I have a cousin who claims that that is her "favorite" show. She also claims the Bible is her favorite book of all time, whcih just strikes me as dishonest.

Love the flange on the back.

Chris said...

I always suspected that Canadians were ahead of their time, which I believe Max Planck definitively proved in a theorem the Nobel committee refused to give him credit for. Ironically, the more esoteric Quantum Theory seemed to have grabbed their attention.

That device trumps Tivo's fast forward feature for sure.

blackbird said...

You've never looked better.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays and hoping you'll kiss La Schmutz on the mouth, from me.


palinode said...

Thomas - Wait. Your girl guide cookies are samosas? You lucky bastard.

Pearl - Thank you for 'flange'! I knew there was a better word than fin, but I couldn't think of it.

Your cousin needs help. Send her Flight of the Conchords immediately.

Chris - Tivos are banned technology in Canada. Instead we have tinfoil hats.

blackbird - Okay, I kissed her. What now? I've heard there's other stuff, but no one will tell me what that stuff is.

ozma said...

Reduce, reuse, recycle!

I hate throwing tinfoil away.

God I LOVE Lost and Found Shopping.

dk said...

I have one shaped like a pyramis for a more even flow of warp time.

- nothing is better than a flange with graham wafer crust ;)

Nat said...

Love the hat. I wish I had it on when I got sucked in to the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen. But I didn't and it hypnotized me with its weird crappiness and I watched the whole thing. Sigh.

Happy New Year!