Monday, January 14, 2008

the blurst of palinode

Ah man, I'm blocked. Who likes to hear about writer's block on a weblog? You do, or so I'm hoping. Maybe you prefer my tireless efforts at bringing you fresh metaphors through comedy, but with blogs, you take this stuff with that stuff. I could talk about the new season of The Wire, or how I spent today in the apartment, walking around in only a beltless bathrobe and a Toronto Blue Jays T-shirt,* but do you really want to know that? How I ate sardines on triscuits and kept waiting for something exciting to show up in my RSS reader? God I need to go back to work.

Fortunately, I'm starting work next week. The joys of medical leave have all but evaporated, leaving behind the furtive filmy residue of idleness. Alas. Anyway, in order to break the block and come to the aid of youse guys, I'm distilling a Best Of category. It will also have the benefit of extending my tyranny over your tastes just a little bit. Note: this entry will not be included.

UPDATE: My Best of 2004-2005 is up and available for all the lookie-loos. Link on the sidebar.

*I was careful not to pass by the windows, lest the ladies see me and try to break in to the apartment, all crazed with the lust. Seriously, it's like a sexy 28 Days Later with me and the ladies.


Rebecca said...

Just a bathrobe and a shirt? Tell me you wear pants, man.

palinode said...

rebecca - If I'd been wearing pants, you would have been the first to know. Which reminds me, I'm wearing pants.

Sparkling Red said...

Writer's block. Urgh. Don't say it! Is it contagious?

ZaZa said...

Speaking as one of the ladies, I applaud your self-restraint. I'd hate to be overcome with lust and end up in a smackdown with Schmutzie. I have a feeling she could beat the you know what out of me. Hee.

palinode said...

sparkling red - It is contagious. Don't touch any bitter writers if you can help it.

zaza - Smackdowns with Schmutzie (Which is a kid's show on cable access!) can only end one way. That way is with her foot on your battered back and calling you a biz-natch. Actually, they end with lots of beer and giggling.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Yes, I'm sure that your 'milkshake' brings all the Canadian girl-zombies to the 'yard'. There's no need to 'brag'.

lotus07 said...

mmmmm, sardines on triscuts.....sounds yummy AND sexy.

fatboyfat said...

Funnily enough, it's like a sexy Shaun of the Dead with me and the ladies.


BarbaraCA said...

Just pretend you are writing crap TV! Or good TV (Oh, that slays me: "Good TV." And also? You'd be on strike now, so watch out indeed for what you wish).

Ken Levine, who writes some of that rareafied Good TV, has battling writer's block tips:

And also? If you are gonna be pantsless and in a tatty robe, you'd best also be drunk. Because that is the hawt trifecta.

palinode said...

'sir' - I'm certainly willing to teach you. But I'd have to charge. And I charge like a rhino.

lotus07 - Sardines on triscuits with a slop of mustard and a shot of hot sauce. Eat in well-ventilated areas only.

fatboyfat - That brings to mind the scene in the backyard with the zombie girl, with Simon Pegg & Nick Frost chucking old vinyl albums at her head.

BarbaraCA - Thanks for the link! Even though I really hate most tv shows, tv writers are usually really talented and funny people.

Mind you, there's some fine old tv out there if you're willing to leave the old networks behind.

Pantsless, tatty robe, drunk - As far as trifectas go, that wins the Golden Bukowski.