Saturday, December 08, 2007

x365: 54 of 365: armadillos

I picture my brain as a pipe. Words flow down the pipe. Ideas flow as well, but they're chunkier, more substantial things, and every so often an idea, in its course down the pipe, will wedge itself into an awkward position. Words begin to back up. Eventually the pressure pops out the idea, and the resultant splatter just isn't pretty.

For example, armadillos.

X365 is about people you've encountered in your life. I've never met an armadillo.* I bet they're mean. But I saw one on television the other day and knew, as soon as the idea of an armadillo entered my head, that it would get stuck in there. I couldn't get over the thing's appearance - a collision between a pig and a loaf of pumpernickel - and I knew that its awkward shape could not possibly fit in my brain. I also knew that at some point, I would be compelled to write about it, or engage someone in conversation on the topic. Otherwise, I'd spend days unable to write, waiting for the thing to dissolve.

So if I ever meet an armadillo, I'm going to pointedly ignore it. Just because. And anyway, I've got meerkats to admire.

*As far as I know, armadillos are not people. As far as I know.


Gwen said...

I've always imagined armadillos as Greek or Roman warriers in their hard plates of armor.

i am the diva said...

I've heard that they are delicious.

witchypoo said...

Sorry, bout that, I was wrangling the diva's template to make that purdy header image show up.
She's innocent of all wrongdoing here.

UnrulyDuckling said...

Being from Texas, I have some experience with armadillos. They're kind of shy and snuffly. Also, at least under some circumstances, they are bulletproof.

My grandfather tried to shoot one that was digging up his dooryard garden, and the bullet ricocheted off the armadillo and through the wall of his house.

Shelley said...

Just 2 nights ago, Milo insisted he was an armadillo. Considering his vocabulary runs only a couple of hundred words at best, this seemed reasonably impressive. But maybe there was just something armadillo-ish in the air. He found the idea hilarious, suggesting you might want to give a second thought to the whole armadillo thing.

ozma said...

OK, you might not think this is funny. It's random. But I thought you might?

No, now I've decided you won't. But I put it there anyway so what the hell.

palinode said...

gwen - Greek or Roman warriors who dig up your backyard, yes.

diva - Undboutedly. Here's a recipe for armadillo stew:
1. Armadillo
2. Stew
3. Profit!

witchypoo - You are forgiven. Diva will be held accountable.

duckling - You're our resident armadillo expert. At least now I know to throw grenades instead of shoot at them.

shelley - Set Milo out in the yard and tell him to dig in the dirt for his supper. That'll teach him. Or it may encourage him.

ozma - That's really funny. Thanks.

butterfly said...

Thought you might enjoy the very disturbing, and thankfully fictional, story about an armadillo included in this episode of This American Life I listened to recently:

Episode 154 - In Dog We Trust

You can listen to the whole show on their site at the link.

My grandparents used to live in Texas and they once gave me a silver armadillo ring (it's the State Animal) that I thought was weird and cool when I was little...