Thursday, June 14, 2007

fish derby trio

Hey out there. Have you ever dreamed of a career in the promising field of journalism? Are you halted in your tracks by a grade four education, a stake through your skull and a recurring case of Bell's palsey? It turns out that may not be the stumbling block you imagined! I received this in my inbox from a company that sells ad space in newspapers (redacted a bit for anonymity):

Got an event comming [sic] up ?

Advertise across the province for just $25.00

Sports Day -- Rodeo -- Home Comming [again, sic] -- Church Reunion

Annual Picnic -- Family Gathering – Aniversery [a bit more sic] -- Ball Tourament [oh come on, people - tourament? This is an advertisement?]

Fish Derby -- Canoe Races -- Water Sports Day

Dog Show -- Agriculture Fair

These are some of the communities that ____ go into each week with our network of weekly papers: [here should be a list of all the local podunks that money can buy; it’s a shame that I can’t really include them, because some of the names of towns, villages, and reserves are excellent to behold]

Also we have footprints into many smaller communities around these listed. More information is at our web site _______ or e-mail us at _______________

I don’t know about you, but these are the guys I want advertising my fish derby. But what exactly is a fish derby? Is a hat worn by fish? A hat made out of fish? A smart fishskin derby worn by the discrimating gent or au courant young lady looking to make a dent in the impervious surface of jaded journalism? If you wear a fish derby to your home comming, or maybe accesorize it with a ball tourament (a small metal axle designed for rotating balls and keeping them fresh), the small-town print media will come a' stampeding.


Anonymous said...

Swanee, how I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old Swanee

sgazzetti said...

Via folk-etymology, from фуш derby, the hat favored by Alex and his droogs; from фушат,
'to beat savagely while singing'.

I hate the comma between 'fish' and 'scorn'.

Abigail Road said...

That's it. You can't mock the annual fish derby, sir. Pack up your rod reel, and I'll pick you up at 5am.(The fish start bitin' around then, from what I recall)I'm sure there's a derby going on around here somewhere...and once you catch the biggest fish, and get your picture in the local paper, you'll be hooked.