Tuesday, January 02, 2007

neighbourhood vintages

Impark Parking Lot at 13th and Halifax 2004
This unassuming vintage is the product of long warm days and mild nights, with only a little rainfall to wash away the dust and pollen. Enjoy the body of Japanese import cars, gravel and urine, with afternotes of exhaust and scraps of paper.

Basement of the Bartleman Apartments, 14th and Cornwall 1998
The taste of paint flakes and abandoned appliances dominate this dark damp wine. A nightmarish maze of tunnels gives this vintage its draughty flavour, with the warmth of the door to the boiler room thrown in for a bit of the old unheimlich.

McDonald Building Elevator, 10th Street NE, across from the Kensington Roastery 1995
Inexplicable flavour of wet dog lingers on the tongue and permeates this antique vintage. With the fine taste of muddy bootprint on high-grade lino and the exhalations of depressed Calgarians. Definitely unoaked.


Deron said...

Baby Duck, 2006
Velvety undertones of over-sugared Kool-Aid round out the unsurpassed sweetness of this refreshing vintage. The tongue will lounge in Lovecraftian splendor with the sharp tang of Kool-Aid, while the delicate flavours of no-name club soda and high fructose corn syrup create a dystopian frenzy, lovingly awash in the fleshy taste of Kool-Aid. Whether you're Jim Jones or Tom Jones, this wine certainly provides the right tone for every occasion.

Oh, you weren't talking about real wines? Well neither was I.

Janet said...

Somebody watched "Sideways" again, huh?