Tuesday, December 05, 2006

ask palinode: good breeding edition

Ask Palinode alert: The ask palinode reserve supply has hit a crucial low. Political unrest has halted production at the mines, leaving Palinode with only a few questions left to answer. Without immediate shipments of questions to askpalinode @ gmail . com, critical underanswerment may ensue.

Greetings. Today's question is exactly as follows:
Whilst trekking in Nepal my brother was asked by one of the guides who was learning English - "What does it mean when your leg nips?" . "What indeed" was John's immediate rejoinder at the time but it has puzzled us for years - WHAT dear Palinode does it mean when you leg nips?

regards,
Georgia
That's da cool: Either the country of Georgia or the state of Georgia has a perplexion for me. It's inspiring when an entire state or nation-state can rise from misery and poverty to ask me a question. Did they hold a referendum? Was a board appointed? Did it result in a brutal war of attrition, with all sides sustaining horrible losses? I bet it waged for years, until only the strongest question survived. Georgia, I am honoured to provide the answer.

But I'm pressed for time today, so I'm going to pass your question over to my assistant, a rock hyrax. I understand that this one is quite learned.


Hello Georgia. I am a rock hyrax but that is OK. If you don't mind, I'm going to quote from my deleted wikipedia entry:
"What does it mean when your leg nips? It’s likely that your leg nips when it feels threatened, or when its territory is encroached on. Over time the leg has been bred for its qualities of loyalty and obedience, but along with these traits comes a territorial instinct that only grows sharper as its senses dull with age. Sometimes the leg will take an irrational dislike towards strangers, neighbours, or even family members, but most often it will find its nemesis in the other leg, which has been traditionally been favoured for its long loping stride at the expense of aggression.

"Usually in these cases the result is no more than an occasional nip or bite delivered by one leg to the other, especially in crowded, noisy places where the legs are pressed together. In some instances, though, the leg will fixate on its partner and attack repeatedly, mauling with singular intent and great ferocity, until the owner is left with one angry leg and one stump. When the unthinkable happens there is generally no choice but to take offender and victim out back and shoot them both – and we all know how traumatic that can be, especially when the poor owner is a young child who has developed a sentimental attachment to his legs. It is always advisable to acquaint a child early with a wheelchair, for this very contingency. And that is what it means when your leg nips".

OK Georgia, that was my answer. I'd like to thank the Palinode for giving me the opportunity to speak to my area of expertise. As a rock hyrax, it's tough to get a start out there, esp. with those Wikipedia bastards editing your content LOL. Peace out.


Got a question? Want an answer, even if it's from a rock hyrax with a chunk taken out of its ear? Email: askpalinode @ gmail . com.

5 comments:

cahilla said...

How delightfully educational on a Wednesday morning! Pray, do tell of the evolving friendship between you and your trusted assistant the rock hyrax.

Tintenfisch said...

And not just -any- rock hyrax... a SMILING rock hyrax. Wow.

palinode said...

tintenfisch - Well, that hyrax is smiling because he's on his best, most professional behaviour.

cahilla - my cordial working relationship with the rock hyrax, which I predict will melt into friendship very soon, is the subject of a future entry.

My Head Is Too Big said...

Have you read the Clive Barker short story "The Body Politic"? This guy's hands plot to escape his body while he's sleeping, using morse code taps and sign language. Only trouble is they can't decide who chops who off with a meat cleaver first.

shishyboo said...

here's an ask palinode...

how do I increase the exposure of my blog to the rest of the blogging community?

at the moment I think I have only 2 regular visitors.

I want to be like you, Palinode, your blog is super cool.