Friday, September 22, 2006

for the friday few - you happy few

You know who reads this site on Friday? Nobody, that's who. So if you're reading this, be congratulated then, on naming yourselves amongst the nobodies, the ghostly few pushed so far to the margins that even to themselves is their own existence up for debate. This is my scattershot Friday list for you, my blog subalterns at the wet drippy end of the workweek.

  1. I didn't really catch on until today that this is the best possible time of my whole life to become a gambling addict. I work right across the street from the casino. I don't even have to walk outside; by pedway and pedway I can amble on over and empty my pockets. I work in government offices connected to a hotel, and most of the hotel patrons are of a mind to gamble. I've listened to them in the lobby and in the hallways, husbands and wives going over their gambling strategies, clutches of conventioneers convinced that they've got a handle on the best machines, the surest things on the floor. They are all losers. They have come here to find that out.


  2. I just went downstairs to the lobby to get a cup of coffee from the cafe. When the barista took my money and tapped out the order on her touchscreen, the clicking of her long fake nails on the plastic screen sounded like insects knocking in hte walls of an old house.


  3. It turns out that I have a turtle-related secret. Today for the first time in two weeks I spotted the turtles in the fountain again. The one with the dark green shell was sitting under the waterfall, submerged maybe half an inch, his belly resting against a tile slab and his limbs floating relaxed in the water. He (all turtles are males to me until proven otherwise) was letting himself be rocked back and forth by the waterfall, in much the same way that swimmers let their bodies be nudged by competing ways.

    As I was watching him, the shy turtle, the one with the bright orange shell, swam out from underneath the waterfall and pushed its head out of the water for some air, before submerging again and kicking off for other parts of the pool. When I turned my attention back to the darker turtle, he was staring straight at me, his little crenellated seedpod of a pod swivelling to track my movements. I leaned closer and saw the little black balls of his eyes, but I must showed too much interest. He backed away in little increments until only his head and front limbs were visible. Then he retreated to the other side of the waterfall.

    I stopped to talk to a staff member who had seen me watching the turtles. There were six at one point, but apparently most of them have been stolen. The staff believe that only one is left. How many people know about the existence of the shy orange turtle? I must be one of the only people who stops to watch them on a regular basis.

5 comments:

Chris Wilson said...

Maybe your little friend is a serial turtle killer.

Mr. Head said...

On the question of my existence:
"I drink, therefore I'm hammed." Well, not yet, stupid work. Margins, you say? Oh yeah. I see them in the corner of my eye.

Anonymous said...

ahh, Palinode, you fool, fear not the glittery gaze of Gamblor, the turtles are mere distractions. The pond, the waterfall, and said turtles within are all just props of your ungually elongated barista. Don't let your soporific caffeine induced trance turn you into a turtle-spotter, at least not when Gamblor is only a pedway away. You see, Palinode, in the palace of Gamblor, coffee and tea are free. Yes, free --even in to go cups -- free. For free you can also get a "Player's card," which will on occasion even get you free meals in the palace, and if your lucky, Gamblor says you are, then perhaps even comp-ed tickets to a Don Ho tribute band. Look away for the shiny orange shell. Stop shelling out for coffee when it's free--just a pedway away.
-also, with your turtle-spotting in the past you'll have time for the cufflink conundrum.

Cum catapultae proscriptae erat, tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt. (if catapults are outlawed, then only outlaws will have them)

effective nancy said...

Male turtles have long tails that the often fold up under their shell edges, bright red or orange eyes, and their plastrons (bottom shells) are often concave in order to fulfill the little Nash rhyme. Female turtles have shorter tails, flatter plastrons, and often have rust to brown colored eyes. In general, that is.

Anonymous said...

I'm very disturbed at the idea of people stealing turtles. What do they do with them? Do they know how to feed them and take care of them, or do they make them into soup or something? This is going to haunt me all day. It's a good thing I didn't read this on Friday with the other losers, or it would have haunted me all weekend...