Thursday, October 20, 2005

comedy of the commons

According to a Globe and Mail story (click on Der Title above), US tourism is at an all-time low in Canada, a result of high gas prices, a strong CanaDollar and long lines at the border as the dinosaurs of Homeland Security curl up and rot in their customs booths. The online version doesn't mention it, but the paper article points out that Windsor, Ontario is suffering from the loss of American tourists.

Oh no. Downtown Windsor faces the prospect of becoming a seedy, ugly bytown populated with strip clubs and cigar stores, where crackwhores knock on minivan windows in broad daylight, where suburbanites and senior citizens shun the downtown in mingled disgust and fear, where the lead-poisoned employees of motor plants shuffle down the streets and unleash skyward pleas to an absent god, where even an evening at the movies is ruined by packs of drooling chuckleheads who laugh like methed-up hyenas when David Carradine calls Uma Thurman a cunt, where the most notable building is a casino that looks like a brushed-aluminum soft ice cream cone, where -

Ah. No, that was Windsor when I went there last summer. I'd hate to see it in a slump.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. If you replace David Carradine and Uma Thurman with Eric Stoltz and Gina Gershon, you could be describing Newark, NJ. We don't understand why more Canadians don't visit. The off-broadway scene is spectacular.

palinode said...

Now why would Eric Stoltz be so mean to Gina Gershon?