Friday, April 08, 2005

the dumbest picture in the world

As you prepare for your weekend, I'd like you to take a few minutes to sit down and contemplate The Dumbest Picture in the World.


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I'm sure you have questions. We'll handle them one at a time.

Where does the Dumbest Picture in the World come from?
The DPW hangs in room 14 of the Rodd Miramichi Hotel on Water Street in the city of Miramichi, New Brunswick.

Are they happy, those animals?
I doubt it.

It looks to me like that fox is really into that deer's butt. Am I right?
See for yourself:

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It looks to me like the deer's enjoying the attention, if you know what I'm saying.

What the hell are those trees? Christ.
You know, I used to know what those tall trees with great domes of foliage were called, but I've forgotten. They're all over the Cote d'Azur.

So the Cote d'Azur also sports moose, red fox, brown bear and deer frolicking beneath its trees?
No.

So then why -
Because it's stupid. Don't you get it? It's the most inane crap I've ever seen hanging anywhere! And I had to spend a whole week with that thing hanging over my bed, with a nervous moose and a fox that looks like Joel Grey out of Caberet!

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Argh. So lame. And you'd never have seen it if I hadn't had a 650 watt halogen light with a stand and a full blue filter in my hotel room.

9 comments:

blackbird said...

Good god. It's a signed Warren Kimble.


I feel as though you are throwing down the dumb gauntlet here --
I am finding it difficult keep myself from tracking down something even dumber to show you.
Difficult, but not impossible my Canadian friend, not impossible.

palinode said...

I went and looked up Warren Kimble at some point because the name rang a bell. A deep, stupid, gong show bell. As I feared: he's America's most popular folk artist, the fucker.

Mr. Saucy said...

Must be the Garden of Eden before the fall. You know, when the bears and foxes were vegetarians.

blackbird said...

see what I mean --
and imagine if it were a Thomas Kinkade?

http://www.kinkadegalleries.com/
THAT would keep me from sleeping.

palinode said...

I don't know what's nastier - America's Best Loved Contemporary Folk Artist or that Painter of Light.

luvabeans said...

wow. while, facially, it does resemble joel gray, that fox is HUGE. i really enjoy the blatant use of the fan brush in the foliage. bob ross would be proud. this whole painting is a happy accident, without the "happy" part.

palinode said...

The thing that drives me batshit about the foliage is that the light on the leaves appears to be coming from the underneath the trees. I don't care how folky an artist you are. Even the most inbred hillbilly with a claw for a hand to hold a brush knows where the sun is.

Friday said...

Yes, the sun is obviously up the deer's ass.

Sally said...

I think my cat Ndugu would look perfect there.