- the little bowl of individually-wrapped toothpicks at the counter would be individually wrapped.
- There would be a little sign next to the toothpick bowl advising customers not to pick out the poisoned toothpick.
- One of the toothpicks would be coloured bright red. This would not be the poisoned one.
- Every dish would come with a leaflet listing the ingredients and charting the course of the dish from field and farm to plate. Any animals consumed would be given names.
- Squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard designed specially to produce those unbearable farting noises.
- Bolivian-Inuit fusion cuisine at prices the whole family can enjoy.
- Rump steaks and roasts to be renamed as rudely as possible.
- Itinerant server staff fired at the end of each shift.
- Washrooms designed to appeal to the Christian right.
- All items on the menu expressed as a ratio of calories of fuel consumed to grow and prepare food to calories available to customer.
- Each restaurant individually wrapped to prevent nasty oxidation.
Monday, January 03, 2005
food against itself
Here's what I would do if I had access to a whole lot of capital and a few neckties (by court order I can't wear neckties until 2007). I would open up a chain of restaurants with the following exciting features:
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1 comment:
Mmm roasty ass steak.
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