Friday, December 03, 2004

youth concern

Enough of these deep South troglodytes obsessed with controlling our childrens' genitals:

A bill by Rep. Gerald Allen, R-Cottondale, would prohibit the use of public funds for "the purchase of textbooks or library materials that recognize or promote homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle." Allen said he filed the bill to protect children from the "homosexual agenda" ... Allen said that if his bill passes, novels with gay protagonists and college textbooks that suggest homosexuality is natural would have to be removed from library shelves and destroyed ... If the bill became law, public school textbooks could not present homosexuality as a genetic trait and public libraries couldn't offer books with gay or bisexual characters. The bill also would ban materials that recognize or promote a lifestyle or actions prohibited by the sodomy and sexual misconduct laws of Alabama. Allen said that meant books with heterosexual couples committing those acts likely would be banned, too.
I used to think that uptight fundies were obsessed with the traitorous genitals of gay men and women, but I'm wondering if I haven't been wrong all along. It seems that, with their constant cries about the need for protecting our unsullied youth, that what they're really thinking about are the genitals of children. It must be pure torture for them, walking the legislative halls and standing at church pulpits, trying to get through the day without thinking about childrens' genitals and all the sodomizing those genitals could do. I propose that these upright citizens form a group to keep those lurid Wildean texts away from impressionable children, something with a name like No Access to Minds Blemished by Lascivious Actions. Or something like that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Helvetica says:

"...AND DESTROYED"? But that's not enough! Homosexuality (not to mention gender-switching antics) surrounds us like al-qaeda terrorists: birds, mammals, fish ... Yes, book burnings will limit creatures' pre-pubescent exposure to carnal literature that offends contemporary fundamentalist interpretations of Christian values (no more Plato's Symposium for Alabama tadpoles.) but if the beasts don't change their ways we must destroy them too! First, by clearing away all those environmental preservation rules. Bonobos, farewell, too long have you behaved in unnatural ways on National Geographic television.