the ingredient

[Deep, ridiculous night. Electricity all over the place, just trying to keep the night outside. Schmutzie and Palinode ignore humanity's triumph over the night and watch TV.]

Schmutzie: I don't like this commercial.

Palinode: This is a commercial?

Schmutzie: They tell you that this product has an ingredient that stops heartburn, but they don't tell you what the ingredient is.

Palinode: Don't need to know. As a viewer, I'm too busy and important for details.

Schmutzie: Maybe they figure we're too dumb to trouble ourselves over the name of the ingredient.

Palinode: It doesn't matter if I know what the ingredient is. I just need to know that the ingredient will stop heartburn.

Schmutzie: But what if the ingredient is dog poop? Dog poop to stop the heartburn?

Palinode: Dog poop doesn't work that way.

Schmutzie: Oh, you know how dog poop works.

Palinode: I know enough to know that it doesn't stop heartburn.